done?  cross it off.
done?  cross it off.
done?  cross it off.

i live my life in to-do lists.  read thiswrite that.  my entire week is laid out for me, which is funny because I didn’t see cry myself to sleep on it every night last week.  nor did i see take a visit to grady memorial hospital.  and yet, those things got done.  my to-do list is my safety net.  my type-a way of still trying to maintain control of my life.  i’ve realized, though, that the things that aren’t on the to-do list are the ones that make up real life.  real emotion.  real relationships.  i wish that i could tell my type-a self to take that to-do list and shove it.  just go with the flow, man.  but not only is it my safety net, it’s also my defense.  my defense against stress and anxiety.  my only way to ensure that, at some point, i will be able to just go with the flow without having to worry about forgetting to do something.  i just hope that i’m not forgetting to live.

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